


Breezango and The Case of The Mystery Meat

by KetchupEnthusiast



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Bad Humor, Food, Gen, Misunderstandings, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27703394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KetchupEnthusiast/pseuds/KetchupEnthusiast
Summary: Tyler had never even considered that some people could be confused by breakfast meats. Then, he met Fandango.
Kudos: 5





	Breezango and The Case of The Mystery Meat

A table sat in front of Tyler Breeze and Fandango with three plates of prepared meat: bacon, ham, and Canadian bacon.

Why, you ask?

Well, this was the result of a long-running debate that Tyler and Fandango had been engaged in, one that went back to almost the beginning of their partnership.

For whatever reason, Fandango would always insist that Canadians didn't actually have bacon, they only had ham. Mind you, this was after his very Canadian partner, Tyler Breeze, had explained to the dancer that: a.) if you ordered bacon in Canada, you'd get bacon, b.) if you ordered ham, you'd get ham, and c.) that Canadian bacon was a separate thing from bacon and ham altogether. They'd had the argument time and time again, but it never seemed to sink into his partner's mind what the differences actually were.

At first, Breeze thought that Fandango was just being his usual, goofy self. Then, he realized that he was dead serious.

It was probably a stupid thing to concern one's self with, but for some reason, Tyler felt it was his mission to show his partner that yes, there was a difference between the three breakfast meats. And in all honesty, he was tired of having this ridiculous argument every time they stopped at a Waffle House or Denny's while out on the road.

So now, it had come to this. Looking at it all laid out in front of them, Tyler realized that he'd put way too much effort into this entire production.

His search history looked like a butcher's crash course – _'bacon', 'canadian bacon', 'ham', 'bacon vs. canadian bacon vs. ham', 'different types of breakfast meats'._ Then there had been the less than complimentary searches for things like _'dumbing things down for people'_ and _'how to explain things to children'_.

There had been the night on Wikipedia where Tyler spent at least two hours surfing through articles, jotting down notes on everything from curing processes to the anatomical makeup of a pig's body. He'd even briefly considered tracking down Drew Gulak to ask him for a custom PowerPoint presentation about the differences between the three meats, but then Tyler remembered that he still had some shreds of dignity left. Oh, and that they'd arrested Gulak on an episode of _205 Live_ and Drew was still kind of heated about it.

In the end, Tyler decided to take the simplest route: a taste test.

“Now look, 'Dango, we're going to settle this once and for all,” Tyler made a swooping gesture toward the plates on the table.

Fandango seemed incredulous, but he picked up the first sample – plain bacon – and popped it in his mouth.

“Well, this one's easy. It's obviously bacon.”

Tyler nodded, then watched his partner move on to the next plate. This is where the dancer seemed to hesitate. Fandango looked between the ham and the Canadian bacon with a sense of distrust in his eyes, like Tyler was playing some sort of massive trick on him, ready to deliver the inevitable 'gotcha!' if he happened to guess incorrectly. The brunette plucked a piece of ham from the plate and held it between his fingers, examining it closely.

“'Dango, it's a _taste_ test, not a _sight_ test,” Tyler huffed.

Fandango put the ham in his mouth, chewing it almost reluctantly.

“This one's... ham?”

Tyler nodded again, mentally patting his partner on the back for his correct deduction.

Finally, Fandango picked up a sample of the Canadian bacon and popped it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully, “hmm, that's strange, this doesn't even taste Canadian.”

Tyler's face scrunched up in confusion, “how does something 'taste Canadian'?”

Fandango only waggled his eyebrows at Tyler, who answered the gesture with a stern look. 

“Now stop that and focus on the meat.”

Fandango gave a perverted chuckle at his partner's word choice. Tyler just rolled his eyes.

Something seemed to finally click in Fandango's brain, though, as his expression shifted to one of mild surprise.

“I think I get it now. This one's bacon, this one's ham, and this one's _Canadian_ bacon,” Fandango pointed to the plates in the correct order.

“Yes, 'Dango!” Tyler smiled, relieved, “I'm so glad that we've finally got this settled.”

“I'm sorry I doubted you, Breezy,” Fandango said.

“That's okay,” Tyler replied. As he moved toward the table to begin cleaning up the taste test, Fandango piped up beside him.

“Hey, now that we've solved the mystery of Canadian bacon, we can move on to our next case – why Canadians don't wear tuxedos!”

Tyler couldn't do anything except throw his arms up in exasperation.


End file.
